Live Laugh Lagom by Lola A. Åkerström

Author:Lola A. Åkerström
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781612437781
Publisher: Ulysses Press
Published: 2017-11-04T04:00:00+00:00

SOCIAL LIFE + PLAY

“Seriousness and pleasure should thrive together.”

Swedish Proverb

We are social creatures who seek solace and comfort from one another.

We long for acceptance, we crave belonging, and we subconsciously need the proximity of others to keep loneliness at bay. We often thrive better emotionally within cultures where there are social frameworks that treat everyone as family and focus more on the “It takes a village” mentality when it comes to interacting with each other.

However, in cultures that focus more on individuality and self-sufficiency, clouds of isolation can form at the peripheries. We feel excluded and secluded more often, and there’s a magnified sense of being an outsider, regardless of intent. Making friends seems more challenging, building an active social life feels a lot more like a chore than it needs to be, and we may plunge into mental spaces of desolation more often than we’d like to.

Such is the case within the Swedish society, running on the guiding principle of lagom that stipulates we take care of our individual needs first and make sure we don’t aggravate our neighbors in the process.

This unintentionally creates a society of interiority where people are open-minded enough to allow their neighbors to do whatever they want yet keep very close bubbles around their lives that exclude external stress factors, discomfort, and the unfamiliar.

So I’ve often said that Sweden is the most open society run by the most private people.

When it comes to how we move and interact within society, as well as entertain ourselves, lagom shifts into its role of appropriateness and fairness. And whenever lagom rears its head within group settings and pulls us out of our focus on individuality, its jealous cousin, jante, is often close behind, bringing some negativity with it.

This is also why, putting aside individual personalities, socializing with a Swede abroad and one back home in Sweden can be very different experiences. Because lagom can be slinked in and out of like lingerie, Swedes abroad are often quick to shed lagom and the appropriateness it requires in group settings, due to its perceived unattractive traits. Many Swedes abroad brag about their country, but once back on its shores, they firmly criticize it.

So what can lagom truly teach about when to socialize and play with others?

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